Today I celebrate ONE YEAR of sobriety.
Today I celebrate me.
My decision to get sober was one out of desperation. I was desperate for a change. I was in desperation of happiness. I searched all my life for validation externally. I had finally found the love of my life, but yet I still wasn’t happy. I thought I needed someone else to complete me, truth was, I was already complete. I was just in need of some healing.
Laying in complete hell, hungover, pretty sure I had given myself alcohol poisoning, I decided enough was enough. I had been running down the same destructive road for so long I couldn’t even tell what I was doing to my life. In that moment I had the realization that if I stayed on this road, it was going to lead to the loss of everything I had ever wanted. I would end up losing Chris and then ultimately my life. I didn’t want that, I wanted to live more than anything so I made up my mind, once and for all, to change.
Everyday since have been the best days of my life. I have cried, I have screamed, I have fought harder than ever, I have laughed, I have lost people and gained others, I have felt every emotion known to man, but most importantly, I have found happiness. I have discovered who I truly am. I have found that I am all that I need to be happy. I have done more in my one year of sobriety for myself and my future than I have in the 29 years leading up to it. I’m doing the work it takes and also taking the breaks my soul needs. I’m being more intentional with my time and energy. I am setting boundaries to keep myself on the right path. I turned the energy I was putting into my addiction into my healing and recovery.
I couldn’t have done this alone. Though AA wasn’t my jam, I still needed support. My husband has been my rock through this entire process. Thank you for sticking by me and loving me through my worst days. You are now reaping the joys of our best days together. To my tribe of ladies, I don’t know where I’d be without any of you! You girls have held me together on some of my hardest days. You have loved me and supported me through all the highs and the lows. I love each of you so much and will never be able to express the gratitude I have for you enough.
One year down, a life time to go ✨🙏🏼💗
If you are struggling know that I see you, that I’m here for you. Here to talk, here to listen, here to hold space, here to love. Please do not be afraid to reach out, to speak up. It is not a sign of weakness, but one of strength.
We do recover. 🤗